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Older filmgoers might also vaguely equate the lack of merit in 50SOG with the icky, degrading Last Tango in Paris: Maria, the butter.
#Amazon fifty shades of grey movie movie#
50SOG is pretty much devoid of imagination: If this S & M genre is your thing, the oldie The Story of O, or even 9 1/2 Weeks, is not as tedious as this movie is, and those casts are better-looking and better actors. About the best that can be said is that at least you get to sit in a theatre seat out of the winter cold for two hours, and you do have two hours of escapism where you do not have to consider the day's beheadings by the Islamic terrorists steadily expanding their already-New Hampshire-sized territory. Tinsel Town has reached another low in this stinker of a movie with its fake flagellations, man-on-woman violence and gratuitous sex. Charming, huh? A romantic Valentine story? Not and not.
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To reduce it to its basics and give nothing away that you probably have not already surmised just from the trailer and the heavy hype leading up to its release: Sicko beats up Flavor of the Moment and she pretends to enjoy it in exchange for access to Sicko's money and trappings, natch. The record that 50SOG should be setting is "the year's biggest gotcha." What a bunch of hype for a zero of a movie. If you manage to make it through the movie without nodding off at the tedium or just cutting your losses and leaving early, you will understand why the distributors and their media enablers had to promote the heck out of this dog to get people into the theatres. "Boring (Two Hours that Feel Like Two Weeks- the movie is too LOOOONG), Derivative (The Story of O and 9 1/2 Weeks both did it much better, and with a better-looking cast, if this S & M genre is your thing) and Embarrassingly Stupid, 50SOG is "Boring (Two Hours that Feel Like Two Weeks- the movie is too LOOOONG), Derivative (The Story of O and 9 1/2 Weeks both did it much better, and with a better-looking cast, if this S & M genre is your thing) and Embarrassingly Stupid, 50SOG is Dreck for Those Whose Brains Have Been Scooped Out" You would have had to have your brain scooped out to buy into the absurd premise that this boring, monotonous, derivative, cheesy-porno dreck has anything to do with love, or even satisfactory coupling.